So what am I going on about with the language of love. Well, my husband and I were bought a book called, The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman. It is a book I would, wholeheartedly, recommend to every couple.
In it, Gary says that there are five main love languages that we speak. My husband and I read it together and our eyes were opened and we grasped a new understanding of love and what it means.
In the book, Gary takes the reader through some of his case studies to help illustrate the particular love language of the chapter. Gary says that there are five main love languages. Even though there are usually elements of each language we all respond to, every one of us has a different primary love language.
Gary identifys the languages as:-
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch
My husband and I learnt a great deal about the way we both respond to each other and what each of our primary love languages are.
So back to our spat I mentioned yesterday. I was speaking my primary love language of "Acts of Service" when I made my husband all the lunches and made a special trip to deliver his lunch that day. His reaction felt like a rejection: I had put my heart and soul into making him food that he didn't eat.
Obviously we resolved the issue, and moved forward, but it is good to remember that we each respond differently and have to learn to speak each other's love language. We all have choices to make every day of our lives and if we want to live in harmony with each other, we do need to learn to understand each other.
Love is simple and yet love is complex. I'd recommend for couples everywhere to read the Gary's book. It will open your eyes.
Jeany Pavett, Author of Life After Death: A Mother's Story